How to think like J.P. Morgan?

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I ‘m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with RM500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy but an annual salary of RM1M is considered only as middle class in KL. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of RM500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich people like you? Among those I’ve dated, the richest has a RM250k annual income and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into a high cost residential area in Mont Kiara, RM250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? 2) Which age group should I target? 3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting but they are able to marry rich guys. 4) How do you decide who can be your wife and who can only be your girlfriend?

Ms. Pretty

Here’s a reply from a fund manager:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than RM500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money”. Person A provides beauty and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year but you can’t be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciative asset and you are a depreciative asset. It’s not just normal depreciation but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be very worrisome 10 years later.

By the terms we use in KLSE, all trading has a position. Dating you is also a “trading position“. If the trade value drops we will sell it as it is not a good idea to keep it for long term. The same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this but in order to make a wise decision any assets with great depreciative value will be sold or “leased”. Anyone with over RM500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you and will not marry you. I would advice that you forget about looking for clues to bag a rich guy.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in “leasing” services, do contact me.


J.P. Morgan

Source: The Internet

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